Monday, January 26, 2015

Dreams




Living our dreams out in our sleep.
Hoping they materialize into something when we're actually awake.
However, I always thought sleep was more appealing.
You never got enough sleep.






“People think dreams aren't real just because they aren't made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.” 
 Neil Gaiman



Click below for some new tune music by Emily:
Emily's Tunes New Wave






Saturday, January 24, 2015

Dance Moves



I'm not as tolerant as I thought I was;
I don't know as much as I thought I did. 

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― 
Langston Hughes

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

commitment sacrifice


I've thought about suicide everyday for the past decade;
I don't know what that says about me.  
Probably that I can't commit.
Even though every person I meet keeps telling me that everything is in my mind set.  
Maybe I'm still having the commitment problem.  


Monday, January 19, 2015

It's as good of a day as it's going to get!!!!



On a good day I feel like a failure attending a masquerade party. 
I'm just waiting for the day the hosts ask me to take off my mask and leave the party. 

I guess today is a good day with only a hint of dread, sprinkled over my day like salt and pepper.   

I'm told you can be whoever you want to be. 
I'm also told you can choose to be happy. 
I'm not sure what either of those mean. I think they are a silly made up play on words to make people feel better about their existence.  They only make me feel worse. 
I feel like a fool just clowning around in my clown suit.  

Should I leave you with more analogies?  Would you like me to spill my blood out on the driveway and stage a murder scene?  That would make the neighbors only more candid. They are spectacular in their fixed income lives and classy automobiles. 

I felt pressured to join them, however something in me just wants to drive up the coast and into the ocean.  Pretend my car is a boat and sink into the tide. People could say I went down like the Titanic. 



“In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.” 
 Friedrich Nietzsche




Shannon's Blood Blog


Masterpieces in the Snowflakes




I wanted something new.
You were new.


Those statements are well and fine, however, is there more to the science of love than qualifications?  Even when I meet all of the qualities on your checklist, are there still more tests that I need to pass and likewise? 

Who knows, the future changes ever so fast.  Sometimes the world is a disaster by the moment I wake up, other days lead me to something greater.  Time is our only dividing factor. 

“Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ” 
 Coco Chanel

Friday, January 16, 2015

To Be Great





         “To be great is to be misunderstood” read my fortune cookie.  It wasn’t a recent cookie, but one I had stashed away in my purse for a rainy day.  I find them everywhere.  Some fortune cookies are hidden in my car, others in coat pockets, and even some in the cover of my cell phone.  I don’t know if I believe in what they say. 
         Could a mass-manufactured piece of paper shoved in a highly processed piece of cookie have any sort of wisdom stashed in it?  When I put it that way, I don’t think so.




“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day. — 'Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.' — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” 

Xanax can't even fix these mistakes!




           I started thinking about sunshine, but before I knew it I had already discovered I had made another quite costly mistake.  The money was short and I was accountable.  This may cost me my job and it has only been a couple months in the making.  Earlier I applied for a doctoral program, however, the transcripts were a bit fuzzy and their resolution was off.  Is that another mistake that will cost me?

            I was told sobriety would bring clarity.  Thus far I am no more clear about the direction my life is taking, and my mistakes only remind me of how disposable I can become to people.  Everyone loves you when you’re on top of the world, however, when you start sinking back down to earth, they tend to turn the other cheek.  I think that is very funny.  However, still so, white-collar crime costs companies millions and in the end these investors are considered outstanding citizens.

            Maybe this mistake will do something similar for me.  Instead of getting fired, maybe I will be a hero for my honesty.  They say honesty is always the key in any type of relationship. I have never benefited from being honest.  Usually screaming can help get a person’s point across a lot quicker and more efficiently.

            Yet again, the cost may not be too much other than a warning; besides money does grow on trees. 

How many mistakes is one person allowed to make?  Is one mistake too many?  Or could it be personal and situational?  My luck has always been bad; maybe I used all of my luck on that raffle ticket that didn't win me any money.  It cost me a buck, but wasn’t very profitable. But what is profit to the living when I’m mostly a part of the dead?